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Okay, well, maybe if the Sabres had lost on Friday, it could’ve, but they didn’t, thankfully.

I’m not even going to talk about the depressing game the Sabes played on Saturday, and I don’t even want to think about the stupid Bills game that Kim and I sat out in the rain for. EPIC FAILS ALL AROUND.

And how is it that my favorites from both teams end up with phantom groin injuries??? Just when they’re playing poorly??

I’m too frustrated in my teams, and the fact that I messed up the cookies I was baking yesterday (I put in 5 cups of flour instead of 2.5. Go me.), just repels me from blogging this evening.

So Kim and I are going to go put some comfy, warm, and dry clothes on, eat some spaghetti, and play Guitar Hero World Tour some more. Not that playing from 11 pm last night until 4 in the morning wasn’t enough, or anything.

BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON POMINVILLE!!!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!!

We’ll return tomorrow morning to our regularly-scheduled Sabres-fanatical blogging.

And believe me… It’ll be worth it.

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Dear Ryan,

I just want to say a few things, because I need to get them off of my chest, and you, being the amazingly understanding and sensitive guy that you are, are the person I need to say them to.

Before I make my points, I just wanted to tell you that your taste in music is impeccable. We’d do well sharing a car on a long road trip. And, having seen the way you drive, you can take the wheel. I like a guy who drives a hot car really fast. And, don’t take that the wrong way…

But anyways, let me get to the point.

Ryan, we’ve known each other a long time, right? So I think I can say this without you getting all defensive and crossing your arms over your buff chest…

Oh, yeah.. Just like that. You know what? You look really hot like that…

ANYWAYS. I think you need to steal a game for us. Obviously our offense is seriously lacking, if you take Mark out of the picture, because there’s no reason what so ever that we cannot win a game after having 40 shots on goal. (Oh, and can you tell Mark that I’m so impressed with his play since his call-up? And that if he keeps it up, I second the quote from Kevin Dineen: “I don’t know if we’ll see him again [in Portland].” Thanks, Ry!)

So I’ve decided that the only way to get us out of this, what did you call it, a “little bit of a rut,” would be for you to stand on your head, give the performance of your life, and win for the team. Because they obviously can’t do it themselves.

I mean, don’t get me wrong; you know very well that I love every single guy in that locker room, and I would defend them tooth and nail, but they’re just off. Or awful… Or both.

Ryan, that’s all I ask of you. In the issue of The Hockey News that came to my house yesterday, you were listed in the Plus Column, saying this: “After signing a long-term deal with the Sabres, netminder Ryan Miller is delivering the goods.” Well, somewhere along the way, the goods turned into the mediocres, and we need the goods back. Okay?? So, maybe, on Wednesday, we can turn it around?

Because I have this theory that this year, the Buffalo teams are mirroring each other a little bit. I mean, the Bills start off 5-0, the Sabres start off equally as well, if not better. Then the Bills lose 4 in a row. You guys have now lost 5 in a row. Well, the Bills kicked ass yesterday, as I’m sure you know. So I think Wednesday would be the perfect time to get this entire city all riled up again, don’t you?

Let’s try that then, okay?

Send my love to the team, especially Derek, for obvious reasons…

Love, Cari

PS–Can you please tell me when tickets for the Third Catwalk go on sale? Because I most definitely have to get some…

By Cari and Kim
Why do you build us up, Buffalo Sabres, just to let us down, and mess us around?  And then worst of all, you never score, baby, when you say you will, but we love you still.  We need you more than anyone darlings, you know that we have from the start.  So build us up, buttercups, and don’t break our hearts.
Anyways, back to real blogging; THAT GAME BLEW.
(1)  We couldn’t listen to Rick and Harry because they were delayed about ten seconds and I have ADD, so I made Kim suffer through the FSN Detroit guys.
(2)  Derek Roy totally scored and because THAY DON’T USE VIDEO REPLAY IN THE PRESEASON they couldn’t review it.  What the hell kind of policy is that?
(3)  The FNS Detroit guys are idiots:  (a) they claimed that one of the Detroit players was “humping that a guy a little bit,” (b) they couldn’t pronounce Rivet correctly, and (c) they couldn’t pronounce Sekera either.
(4)  Ty Conklin sucks.  End of story.
(5)  Our power play sucks.  10 man-advantages and no conversions.  Pathetic.
(6)  Andrew Peters didn’t fight.  Oh, wait, that was good because he drew a penalty.  But then again, our power play sucked, so that didn’t matter.
(7)  Derek Roy got elbowed in the face and I almost died.
(8)  Ryan Miller almost died when his mask came off, and the refs almost didn’t notice.
(9)  We lost.
And to top it all off, the Bills got KILLED, and Trent Edwards should shack up with Tim Connolly.
Let’s take a look at what went right tonight:
(1)  Maxim Afinogenov laid someone out–INTENTIONALLY–and didn’t hurt himself in the process.
(2)  Lindy Ruff swore.  That’s always good for entertainment.
(3)  Derek Roy somehow managed to get the Third Star.  Probably something to do with that goal he didn’t score.
(4)  No one got seriously hurt.
(5)  Oh, wait, that’s it.
So we’re really glad the Sabres ended up with a preseason record of 1-3-1.  That’s pretty spectacular.  And by that, I mean spectacularly atrocious.
Hopefully, this won’t be a sign of things to come, and that there will be good news in the next few days.
Oh, and by the way, we’re now watching Ryan Miller’s favorite movie, the classic Super Troopers.

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