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ETA: I have to say, that while I was watching this game, I was completely blinded by my love for Patty K and just ecstatic about his return. Therefore, I didn’t actually blog constructively, and for some reason, felt that the Sabres played a good game. Ummm, what hockey game was I watching, you ask? I have no effing idea. So read this with a grain of salt, and please know that I am really, really, really upset with our defensemen, our forwards, our power play, and more specifically, Clarke MacArthur, Maxim Afinogenov, and a few others. Yikes… You call that hockey? Shesh….

My favorite thing having to deal with the Devils is this.

So, like I promised, I’m liveblogging tonight. For the first time since, like, October something. Sparky’s in the lineup!! Yay ManChild II !!!!! Hopefully playing with Derek will help him out a little bit, production-wise. And, like I said, I really, really hope that Patty K runs someone–HARD–tonight. It’d be even better if it were on his first shift. Nothing like jumping right back into the game.

First Period

18:54 left Stupid Devils. Not a terribly bad goal, in my opinion, but the rebound was baaaaad. 0-1

16:30 Derek showed up to work tonight. My mother says he was “inspired by [my] beauty last night.”

14:10 ANOTHER GOAL POST?? Seriously, I think we need to start a Monopoly-esque Free Parking for the player who hits the most posts in a season.

13:02 DREW STAFFORD ILY!!!!!!!!! Beautiful tip-in! OMGAH FINALLY WE’RE RUSHING THE NET. “Upon further review, it is a good goal.” Yay! 1-1

12:31 That’s the Patty K I love!! Way to put us on the power play, dear! ❤

11:20 The power play looks impressive, thus far. I like that they’re shooting a lot more. EMPHASIS ON A LOT. They’re looked really good.

9:20 Okay, if anyone knows the count of 5-on-3’s in our opponents’ favor this season, please tell me. My curiosity has been peaked.

8:16 Booooo. Drew, you’re not allowed to be friends with Parise anymore. 1-2

3:10 Oh, Max… If only you could score fancy goals like you used to be able to do

2:26 Someone’s got a death wish. You don’t hit Patty after the play and live to tell the tale, Mr. Rupp (for long, at least).

0:00 Overall, a decent period. I’m pretty pleased with the Sabres thus far. Good enough job on the PK, and good puck movement and opportunities on the PP. It’d only be better if Pat had listened to me and had run someone, but whatever. There’s still 40 minutes for that. =]

(Roby just called Tallinder a “wounded puma.” What the hell is a wounded pew-ma, and what is it doing on ice?)

(TIMMY’S NOT DEAD!! And he can draw?? WHAAA??? It’s too bad that he’s such a man-whore. He’d probably be a really good father. That is, if he doesn’t have a whole litter of kiddies already… Hmmm…. It almost makes me love him again.)

Second Period

16:30 Okay, this has nothing to do with the game, but I REALLY MISS TIM CONNOLLY. That video only put me back into withdrawal. =[

10:12 Did I mention that I ❤ Patrick Kaleta? I did? Well, I did it again. Sue me.

9:08 Wow, that goal wasn’t awful, or anything. I realize that it was tipped, but man, was that puck moving slowly. Yuck. 1-3

8:50 PATRICK KALETA, I’VE SAID IT TWICE ALREADY TONIGHT, BUT I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LOVE YOU. Yayyyyy, you’re really cute. 2-3

0:00 Kim called me right after Pat scored (to ask me if I was freaking out, which I was), so I have nothing constructive to say about the rest of the period. Sorry.

Third Period

17:32 Collin White has a dirty mouth. Anyone have any soap??

16:41 Seriously? Seriously? That was a stupid penalty.

14:45 Nice work, Reggie!!! Showing flashes of Timmy with his holding of the puck in the offensive zone on the PK.

13:58 WHAT. THE. HELL. Way to just fall apart there, guys. MacArthur should’ve had that puck out, and Paetsch should’ve had him. And Miller? NO MORE POKE-CHECKS. Next time I see you at Wegmans, I’m telling you to stop poke-checking. 2-4

12:06 Paetsch hit someone!! Yay!! (Sidenote: It’s pretty pathetic when the only thing that I’ve cheered about thus far in the third is a mediocre hit…)

10:22 Ummm… What?? For reals? How was Ryan supposed to do anything about that when whatshisface bowls over him?? 2-5

10:10 YAYYYYY PAUL!! 3-5

6:42 Oduya? I wanna kill ya.

4:37 Um, so I really like how, as soon as Clemmensen is touched, the whistle blows, but a Devil can be on top of Millsie, and the Devils can then take possession of the puck, shoot, and score, and no one thinks twice about it. Cool deal.

0:03 Way to get emotional when it’s way too late.

0:00 Devils win, 3-5. That’s a damn shame.

Honestly though, that wasn’t a bad game at all. That is, if you look past the fact that officiating was a little lame, and that we lost.

Patty K should get the pigeon in my opinion.

That’s about all I’ve got to say… =[

…except this: FAIL.

So let me just say that I have never been more proud of the Sabres then I am at this moment, if I was a mother hen, I’m pretty sure my chest feathers would be all puffed out in pride. The Sabres were absolutely amazing they skated so fast that first period I think I was getting whiplash just from watching them. I could have sworn that the entire Devils team was standing still for 30 of those 60 minutes. Twenty shots and they had to wait until the dying seconds to get a goal in the first period but hey it was still a goal who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?

And of course tonight was the return of Craig Rivet to the line up, completely ahead of schedule which surprised everyone including me, but once again, gift horse and mouth equals me not looking.

Did anyone else giggle every time the announcers said Johnny Oduya, because I did, it’s just so hard to take him seriously with that last name. Maybe it was just me I have a twisted sense of humor.

I was very disappointed to find out when I got home that the game was on Versus because we all know that the announcers on that channel are a bunch of morons, a bunch of very dumb, very stupid morons who don’t have a clue as to what the hell they’re talking about. However, watching a game on Versus is entertaining if nothing else. Seriously, I only listen to them to see what kind of stupid ass analogies they can come up with during the games. We all know the usual ones such as:

  • The cage is actually the net, luckily they only said it a handful of times which is down from the usual hundred.
  • The paint is the crease.
  • A drive is a shot.

Tonight the morons came up with some spectacularly bad sayings that completely bear repeating.

When Gaustad got into that small scuffle near the beginning of the game they called him “a large human” well no duh.

When Vanek got the call for hooking one of the announcers claimed that it was “fondling with the stick” which can be taken in so many ways most of them nasty.

When Gaustad was screening Weekes they said “try looking through that humanity.”

Buffalo had 20 shots against the Devils in the first period and “It’s been a mastadonic performance” were the words of choice to describe this phenomenon.

“He was gased” when one of the Devils players looked tired.

“He got that one off the drive by” as in Kaleta when he tipped the puck into the net for the goal from 20 feet out.

“He almost got that one in the grill” when they were describing why most guys don’t like to be positioned in front of the net.

And they kept talking about yardage, uh, hello, we’re not playing football here.

Those are about all that I caught, but seriously where do they get these guys? I’m sure if you handed Cari and I a microphone we could do a much better job. Hell, I’m sure a trained monkey could do a better job, maybe even an untrained monkey.

Timmy Connolly was skating to the net without a helmet on and I thought “this is it the next thing I’m going to see is him being taken off the ice on a stretcher because all the bones in his body are now broken.”

We took 6 penalties in a row, are you kidding me? But then again we managed to kill all of them off, yay for special teams, you all deserve big cookies.

Plus how cool was it that Miller got two consecutive shutouts the first of his career and the first time that has happened in Buffalo since Marty had 3 in a row in the 02-03 season.

Goals tonight went to Pominville (which now has another resident) who got his 4th and Patty K. who got his 1st.

My Three Stars:

3. Pominville for obvious reasons.

2. Kaleta because not only can the guy draw penalties but he can score as well, on the drive by of course.

1. And tah-dah, Miller as my first star because the man is just a beast and let’s face it without him we’d probably be behind the Islanders in the standings.

We’ll that’s about it, next time you hear from me will probably be when I’m in Boston but if not talk to you all on the flip side.

Oh and did anyone happen to see the cute little happy dance that Lalime did while congratulating Miller out on the ice after the win? Adorable, enough said.

Length of Game: 60 minutes
Goals Scored Against The Devils: 2
Goals Scored Against The Sabres: 0
Watching Patrick Lalime Dance Like A Little Girl: Priceless

So tonight’s game absolutely rocked but I’m assuming that you already knew that, if you didn’t we won 5-0, that’s right, it’s not a typo, that’s a big fat goose egg (haha oh Paul) in the Washington category.
Well tonight was absolutely wonderful for two reasons the first one obviously being that the Sabres kicked butt…I’m sorry I ever doubted you, you wonderful pieces of man flesh, yes even you Timmy I’m including you in that although I’m afraid that just by mentioning your name in this blog it puts me at risk for all kinds of horrible STDs although like the Grinch I wouldn’t touch you with a 49 and a half foot pole.
ANYWAYS in the seat next to my mom and I there a single seat and let me tell you some of the people that sit in that seat are clueless, like one girl who yelled “forecheck, I don’t even know what that means, but forecheck” I debated between smacking her upside the head for being an obvious puck bunny or taping her mouth shut because she kept yelling this through the ENTIRE game.
Back to the second good thing that happened tonight, a man who looked like Santa Claus was sitting in the single seat tonight and I debated for a split second whether or not to climb on his lap and ask for a Stanley Cup for Christmas (I didn’t). He and my mom got to talking and we found out that his son was one of the refs in tonight’s game Brian Pochmara, so of course I had to be on my best behavior and not boo the refs like I normally would, but he was one of the better officials I’ve seen so there really wasn’t a need for it. But like the man said, “it’s so nice as a parent to listen to 18,000 people boo your child,” of course that comes with the territory because most refs do suck and we haven’t had the best luck with them lately.
But that wasn’t the best part he mentioned that he was from Detroit and that he knew Ryan, as in Miller, and Ryan’s family. Of course this piqued my interest because let’s face it, how many times do you get to talk to anyone who actually knew the players when they were younger. He said that when Ryan was 10 or 11 he was still playing forward on his team and he told his dad that he wanted to try goaltending, his father made him a deal, if Ryan could score a hat trick in his next game he would let him try goaltending, needless to say, Ryan scored 4 goals and the rest is history. I love finding out what players were like when they were younger and apparently Ryan was scrawny, uhhh, when he was younger??? How about like now? As evidence:

Not much has changed obviously.

Of course even though we won 5-0 I have to wonder what the game would have been like had Ovechkin been playing but I guess we can’t consider all the what ifs and we should just put another tally in the win column and move on to worry about Monday’s game against New Jersey. Which is starting to look bright and shiny considering Brodeur left tonight’s game in the second period with what management is calling a bruised elbow, so let’s all just hope that it’s bad enough that he sits out Monday.

But right now I’m just going to revel in the fact that we lost our last two games and came out tonight like the beasts I know we can be, I’m just going to be happy and enjoy it.

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