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Okay, so I’m totally excited about the win last night.  Like, completely.  But I’ll talk about that later since it’s Cari + Derek = Fate time.  And since I couldn’t really get over the shock that my question was picked last week, and being exhausted from exploring Boston, I didn’t really have the time to post about it last week in detail, but this week I do!!  That is, if I don’t cram some more for my anatomy exam…

OH, BUT WAIT:  HE’S OVERSLEPT.  Story of my life.  (Derek, get your ass out of bed and call Kiss 98.5 right now…  Nick and Janet are contemplating calling “Derek’s best friend” Kyle to wake him up…  HAHAHAHAHAHA Kyle.)
And lovelies?  I apologize for how ADD-ish this post is…  I’m half paying attention to what I’m writing, and half concentrating on the radio to see hear Derek…  Because what would a post of mine on Thursday be without the Derek Roy Report?  Just another post.  And frankly, I think my Thursday posts are absolutely ridiculous, and I love being absolutely ridiculous.
Alright, so maybe I will discuss the game for a bit…
WTF was up with that game, though, honestly?  ADAM SCORES, TIMMMAAY SCORES, AND HANK SCORES??!!  AND PETEY FIGHTS…  TWICE IN 12:01?????
Um, can this happen every night?  But switch up the scorers every once in a while so Derek and the rest have a job in blue and gold come September 2009?  Adam’s seemed to excel this year, a little bit.  He’s now got 4 points (3-1) in 15 games, when his career highs were in 2003-04, with 6-14 for 20 points.  Yeah, I think he’ll have no problem hitting those marks if the team keeps in up.  And Timmy???  6 points in 5 games?  Okay.  Just, stay out of Keith Tkachuk’s way, alright??  AND HANK!!!  ily…  I really do.  You’re just too cute with your little celebratory shimmy and your gigantic grin while you really punched every guy on the bench, and then this:
“That’s the first time I ever got the first star, I just have to enjoy it right now.”

And Petey?  You’re equally as adorable because of this:
“If we’re going by points it’s not fair because I’m never going to get [a pigeon].”

Well now you’ve got one.  =]
Moving on.  Really, though, I told my dad when it was 3-0 that I’d be okay with St. Louis scoring IF AND ONLY IF it were Jay McKee that buried the biscuit.  But when Perron scored, I actually yelled at the TV, saying, “You’re not Jay!  I didn’t say you could fuck with Miller’s goals against!!”  Ohhh, what fun.
OOOH let’s talk about Timmy for a bit.  Did anyone else feel like saying “KEITH TKACHUK JUST DESTROYED TIM CONNOLLY????”  I thought it warranted it, at least.  If Tim had been hit like that last year, I honestly believe in my heart that he would have been on the ice for a good 10 minutes, motionless.  BUT THIS JUST PROVES THAT THE REAL TIM CONNOLLY IS NOT PLAYING THIS YEAR.  Because there is no way in hell that Tim bounced up off the ice like that and kept playing.  And the coaches realized they effed up because he left the game not much longer than that.  NOTICE IT???  Yes you did.  DON’T LIE.  You’re only fooling yourself.  Jill knows my theory that Marek Zagrapan is filling in for TC, but I’m not so sure about that anymore, because Marek is pretty much adorable in person, and Tim is kinda repulsive, actually…  I’m not too sure who’s filling in for him anymore…
And now Derek is 15 minutes late.  I don’t think he’s going to be calling Janet and Nick, but I don’t want to leave my radio in case he does…  I’m pretty much disappointed in him, kinda like someone would be upset if their boyfriend didn’t pick her up for their date, and they only get to go out once a week.  OH, WAIT, because I feel like the Derek Roy Report is like my weekly date with Derek.  Yeah, I know, I’m delusional, but I live with it alright, so I guess you can too.
During the game I kept voting for the All-Star game, which took forever.  There’s too much traffic on too low of a bandwidth for that to go smoothly.  A webpage that would take about a second to load on my computer took 5 mintues.  So then I discovered the text message voting.  All you have to do is send the player’s last name to 81812.  Standard rates apply.  AND I HAVE UNLIMITED, so you know that I’m going to be voting allllll day long.  I believe you get a confirmation text after every 10 votes.  (But if you send “Roy,” you get a response that says “2 or more players match that name.  Reply 1 for Andre Roy, 2 for Derek Roy.”  Well, duh, who do you think I want??  Stupid phone.)  But I got really annoyed when Derek cranked one off the post last night because I had just hit vote on my ballot.  I really said this, too:  “Derek, you idiot, I spend all night voting for you and that’s what you give me?!?!?!”
Derek’s turning out to be a terrible Sabres Boyfriend…  Kyle aside.
And I really think that maybe he’s not going to be on the radio today.  Kinda upsetting because I set my alarm for 7:30 to ensure that I was going to have an acceptable attention span.  So I got up early for nothing.  THANKS, DEREK.  THANKS A LOT.
Well, he’s now 45 minutes late, so I’m giving up.  Stupid Royzie.
Does anybody else think this is a bit ironic?  I mean, I know the Pirates play in the AHL, and the AHL isn’t nearly as difficult as the NHL, but come on.
I mean, ALL of these guys were HERE, and the guys that ARE here can’t do it, but the guys that are THERE can???  Now I’m not saying we would’ve won last night if Jhonas Enroth was in net and if we had Marek Zagrapan centering the second line (notice I left Derek his rightful place on the first).**  Whatever though.  I’m still pissed that they took Derek’s goal away from him.
Lindy Ruff pretty much sums it up in the TBN:
“It’s tough.  Ty Conklin has been tough on us, we get one and it doesn’t count.”
It just drives me nuts because every time we’ve played him since he took off the blue and gold, we’ve lost.  Ice Bowl?  Lost.  The game Kim and I drove down to Pittsburgh for?  Lost.  Last night?  Lost.  Sound familiar?
I’ve worked myself up enough about a preseason game, so I’m not going to talk about it anymore.
In other news, neither Kim or I mentioned that MARK MANCARI CLEARED WAIVERS!!  I guess it was pretty obvious because neither of us have stopped paying attention to the world, and if he had, trust me, YOU’D KNOW.
**Stats for the Portland Pirates/Albany River Rats preseason game:
Marek Zagrapan:  2 goals, 1 assist
Nathan Gerbe:  1 assist
Jhonas Enroth:  30 minutes (approx.), 1 goal against
Adam Dennis:  30 minutes (approx.), 2 goals against

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