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So I’m absolutely sure that, by now, you’ve all heard about the trials and tribulations of the Sabres in net, which are absolutely atrocious at the moment.
Here’s our depth chart for netminders:
Ryan Miller (ankle sprain) Patrick Lalime (flu) Adam Dennis (hip, surgery)
John DeCaro (broken collarbone)
Oh, and there are two others (Bradley Eidsness, who is playing for the University of North Dakota, and Nick Eno, who plays for Bowling Green), but since neither of the two have pro contracts, I don’t know what it would take to get the co-eds up here (Eno just turned 20, by the way, and Eidsness is only 19).
But that provides us with quite the quandary of who might end up in net this evening, if Lalime cannot play, and if (God, please, no) should Enroth go down.
There are three situations that would happen to the Sabres tonight if I were Lindy Ruff:
(1) Lalime is miraculously better, and suits up, 100%, and Enroth backs him up. (Best possible scenario.)
(2) Since Lalime is good enough to play, but not 100%, start Enroth, but have Lalime assume his usual position on the bench as team cheerleader.
(3) If Lalime is a no-go, put Enroth in net.
Who would play second-string in Number 3, you ask?? No one.
That’s right; I said no one.
Think about this for a minute: Each team is allowed to dress 20 players, goalies included, right? Well, what if we only dressed one goalie? Then we could dress 19 skaters.
I specifically remember asking questions about this scenario to my parents many, many times when I was younger. In fact, I can hear myself up in Section 325, looking down at Dominik Hasek in net, Martin Biron on the bench, turning to my father and asking, “What happens if Dom and Marty get hurt in the same game?”
His answer? “One of the other guys would have to play goalie.”
So that’s why I say that. Hey, for all we know, Enroth could steal the show. I honestly think that could be the most interesting thing to happen in a hockey game in a while. I mean, who plays with only one goalie?
Because I don’t necessarily trust any of our defensemen to play goal all that well, so why waste them as a benchwarmer?
Seriously, would you want Lydman, Tallinder, Paetsch, or anyone, for that matter, between the pipes with the way they’ve been playing lately? I sure as Hell wouldn’t.
But if it came down to it, I say put the biggest body in the net, if necessary. None of these guys really have experience playing goal, let alone against Eric Staal and the Hurricanes. (Is Mike Ryan still with them? I’m too lazy to look right now…) So put the guy with the most meat in there and more net is covered.
My, my, my, this could become quite comical. I think I’m kind of glad I won’t be home to see anything until the third period…
That was pitiful, I asked my mom if I could gnaw off my arm and use the bloody stump to beat myself over the head with, she said no because all the blood might scare the kids who were sitting behind us. Needless to say I was very disappointed with the way the Sabres played tonight, we should have had this game and should have come in with guns blazing. But instead of machine guns and bazookas we were forced to play with water guns or hell those cap guns my brother and I used to play with as kids.
I’m not sure what went wrong because mistakes seemed to come from everywhere, but Patrick Lalime, where have you been all my life. Honestly if it wasn’t for him standing on his head for two periods the score would have been at least 5 to 0. Miller was mad that he got pulled, you want to know how I could tell? Maybe the fact that coming in from the first intermission when he saw Lalime in net he took his goalie stick and chucked it down the walkway from the locker room.
I wanted to tell Sekera that he’s playing hockey not leap frog with the way he did that tuck and roll over Miller’s head in the first period. Well he can look at it this way, if hockey doesn’t work out he always has a future as an acrobat in the circus.
I wanted the Sabres to get angry but they sure as hell weren’t playing like they were, I wanted to punch someone and I wasn’t even one of the players on the ice getting my ass handed to me by a team we should have beaten blind folded and with our collective hands tied behind our backs. We were all over the place, passing was bad because the players refused to watch where they were shooting, for some reason they couldn’t seem to keep the puck (when they managed to have possession) on their sticks, they kept hitting the ‘Canes defense in the shins with the puck which caused a bunch of unfortunate bouncings allowing the ‘Canes offense to regain possession.
One funny part of the game was when Justin Williams from the Hurricanes got hit and stuggled to make it to the bench with what looked like an arm injury. At the same time he was trying to make it to the bench the rest of his teammates on the same line where changing and other player were coming out the door that he was tryin to get through. I sit in the 300 level directly across from the opposing player’s bench so that I can look down the hallway that leads to the locker room. Williams’ teammates were blocking his way into the bench so that the ‘Canes risked a too many men call, Williams yelled at one of these offending teammates “GET THE FUCK OFF THE ICE” which I and I’m sure just about everyone else in the arean could heard loud and clear. After Williams made it onto the bench he took his stick when he was in the hallway and swung it against the floor effectively breaking it in half, yeah he’s got some anger issues.
Anyway Happy 30th Birthday Adam Mair, MJ I hope you’re baking your future ex-hubby some tofu brownies because after the way the Sabres played tonight, that’s about all he and the rest of the team deserve.
ETA: Forgot to mention the guy behind me in the concession stand line was saying that if he were Lindy Ruff he would be throwing and breaking things in the locker room. I turned around and told him that Lindy likes to throw the dry erase markers across the room. He asked me if I was serious and I said yeah because in last years ‘What would you get Lindy Ruff for Christmas?’ video Tony Lydman said he’d get Ruff some more dry erase markers because Ruff likes to cap and recap them repeatedly when he’s talking (usually breaking the caps while doing so) and when he’s really angry he throws the markers against the walls. I wish I could find that video somewhere but they never posted it on the Sabres website, it was hysterical some of the answers that the guys gave.
A. Blue Jackets at Sabres
Soooo excited about this game. Probably, mostly, because Staffy and Patty K will be back in the lineup, I think, at least. They should be, anyways. Timmykins can sit this one out; we’ll need him more tomorrow. Max will probably sit, as well, because Lindy was no more happy with him than I was with Derek yesterday morning.
And I’m thinking Patty L will get the nod tonight??? That’s just my guess, because I’d rather have Miller in against Pitt.
Needless to say, since I’m going to be at the becking call of the elderly this evening, they’ll be in bed by 7 pm, except for the ones who know anything; they can stay up later and wait for intermission. I’m so nice. They love me though. Especially Mrs. Miller. I really wish she were related…
Oh, and did anyone else see that, since Columbus became a team, we’ve played them 8 times, and have only won twice?! That’s a bit upsetting, since Columbus is probably the next stop on mine and Kim’s Sabres Roadtripping Excursions. Although, that’s going to be next year, so we can bring a whole bunch more people with us, along with Boston, Round Two (btw, the invitation to join us on that one is still open, and always will be).
B. Catwalk For Charity III
Okay, some background information is needed before I address B. But anyways, my friend Michelle, who is six years my senior, but grew up next door to me, so basically she’s the closest thing I have to an older sister, is getting married in June. She and her fiance moved to Phoenix last summer, and last time my girl was up to Buffalo for a visit, we grabbed our usual lunch at Duff’s. She mentioned the date for her bachelorette party. Problem is, as you know, I’m not quite 20 yet, so a party with a minimum age of 21 wouldn’t quite work for me. So, in a couple weeks, when I head up to Toronto for a friend’s birthday party, you might have an idea of what I might be picking up while I’m there.
That being said, the date for THE THIRD CATWALK FOR CHARITY HAS BEEN ANNOUNCED!!!!!!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
MARK IT DOWN, LADIES. (Thank you, Jill!)
Because you know that if I can find someone willing to go and fork over the money (coughcoughNOTkim), you know I’m there. I think it’d be fun to make a blogess-es night out of it, don’t you???
Because we all know that I want to see this:
And you want to see this:
But, who’s that bald guy in the middle?? I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him before…
What the HELL is going on with this voting process? I honestly believe that it’s stacked.
THE GAME IN IN MONTREAL.
IT’S MONTREAL’S 100TH ANNIVERSARY.
THE CANADIENS HAVE 6 PLAYERS ON THE BALLOT (AKA, THAT’S ENOUGH TO FILL A STARTING LINEUP).
AND, AT THE MOMENT, THIS IS HOW WE STAND:
It’s a conspiracy. Really.
The Sabres, you ask? Where are they currently? Well… Derek and Tommy aren’t on the visible horizon, and I can barely see Tepp in the distance; he’s currently in 9th place with 12,119 votes. Ryan is faring slightly better; he’s in 5th with 13,708.
GO VOTE. NOW. TEPPO FOR PRESIDENT. RYAN FOR VP. DEREK AND TOMMY FOR THE CABINET. Yeah, I know… Whatever.
Alright. I’m done. I’m working all night (literally, all night), so I won’t be posting until tomorrow afternoon, or maybe right before the game, continuing throughout. I haven’t decided. We’ll see how long I stay in bed, since I won’t be getting home until 7:30 tomorrow morning. Yuck. Why do I do this to myself? Oh, yeah… So I can afford more Sabres tickets. It’s a win/lose situation, but I’ll take it.
Enjoy the game, and your Friday night, kiddos. Don’t do anything I would do, and Go Sabres!!
So let me just say that I have never been more proud of the Sabres then I am at this moment, if I was a mother hen, I’m pretty sure my chest feathers would be all puffed out in pride. The Sabres were absolutely amazing they skated so fast that first period I think I was getting whiplash just from watching them. I could have sworn that the entire Devils team was standing still for 30 of those 60 minutes. Twenty shots and they had to wait until the dying seconds to get a goal in the first period but hey it was still a goal who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
And of course tonight was the return of Craig Rivet to the line up, completely ahead of schedule which surprised everyone including me, but once again, gift horse and mouth equals me not looking.
Did anyone else giggle every time the announcers said Johnny Oduya, because I did, it’s just so hard to take him seriously with that last name. Maybe it was just me I have a twisted sense of humor.
I was very disappointed to find out when I got home that the game was on Versus because we all know that the announcers on that channel are a bunch of morons, a bunch of very dumb, very stupid morons who don’t have a clue as to what the hell they’re talking about. However, watching a game on Versus is entertaining if nothing else. Seriously, I only listen to them to see what kind of stupid ass analogies they can come up with during the games. We all know the usual ones such as:
- The cage is actually the net, luckily they only said it a handful of times which is down from the usual hundred.
- The paint is the crease.
- A drive is a shot.
Tonight the morons came up with some spectacularly bad sayings that completely bear repeating.
When Gaustad got into that small scuffle near the beginning of the game they called him “a large human” well no duh.
When Vanek got the call for hooking one of the announcers claimed that it was “fondling with the stick” which can be taken in so many ways most of them nasty.
When Gaustad was screening Weekes they said “try looking through that humanity.”
Buffalo had 20 shots against the Devils in the first period and “It’s been a mastadonic performance” were the words of choice to describe this phenomenon.
“He was gased” when one of the Devils players looked tired.
“He got that one off the drive by” as in Kaleta when he tipped the puck into the net for the goal from 20 feet out.
“He almost got that one in the grill” when they were describing why most guys don’t like to be positioned in front of the net.
And they kept talking about yardage, uh, hello, we’re not playing football here.
Those are about all that I caught, but seriously where do they get these guys? I’m sure if you handed Cari and I a microphone we could do a much better job. Hell, I’m sure a trained monkey could do a better job, maybe even an untrained monkey.
Timmy Connolly was skating to the net without a helmet on and I thought “this is it the next thing I’m going to see is him being taken off the ice on a stretcher because all the bones in his body are now broken.”
We took 6 penalties in a row, are you kidding me? But then again we managed to kill all of them off, yay for special teams, you all deserve big cookies.
Plus how cool was it that Miller got two consecutive shutouts the first of his career and the first time that has happened in Buffalo since Marty had 3 in a row in the 02-03 season.
Goals tonight went to Pominville (which now has another resident) who got his 4th and Patty K. who got his 1st.
My Three Stars:
3. Pominville for obvious reasons.
2. Kaleta because not only can the guy draw penalties but he can score as well, on the drive by of course.
1. And tah-dah, Miller as my first star because the man is just a beast and let’s face it without him we’d probably be behind the Islanders in the standings.
We’ll that’s about it, next time you hear from me will probably be when I’m in Boston but if not talk to you all on the flip side.
Oh and did anyone happen to see the cute little happy dance that Lalime did while congratulating Miller out on the ice after the win? Adorable, enough said.
Length of Game: 60 minutes
Goals Scored Against The Devils: 2
Goals Scored Against The Sabres: 0
Watching Patrick Lalime Dance Like A Little Girl: Priceless
This is by no means in defense of Derek’s performance thus far in the season. I’m very upset with him in that regard.
I DO NOT, HOWEVER BADLY HE MAY HAVE PLAYED IN THE PAST FIVE GAMES, CONDONE SHOVING HIM UNDER A BENCH!!! That’s absolutely disgusting! Alex Burrows, you are on my shit list. And as I said to Kim when I realized who was being shoved under then bench, if I see you on the streets, sir, YOU ARE DONE. Yes, that is a threat, and no, I’m not afraid of you.
Do you, Mr. Burrows, realize how dirty the floor of the bench can be? As much as I love them, hockey players are just like any other guy–gross. You all spit on the bench, bleed on the bench, sweat on the bench… Need I say more? Would you like your face shoved in that? I didn’t think so. So what makes you think you can shove Derek’s face into the floor? Oh, that’s right. You’re just jealous that he’s got an impeccable fashion sense, he’s damn good-looking, and oh, yeah, he plays for the Sabres, who are 4-0-1, comparable to your Canucks, who are 3-3-0. It’s easy to see why you don’t like Derek because through 82 games last year, he had 81 points, but you only had 32. Or is it because he makes $4 million a year, and you only make $483,000? Well, whatever it is, I still hate you.
Derek didn’t deserve this from you. A hit, sure. Sending him flying over the boards, okay I can live with that (1, it’s pretty funny when that happens, and 2, he’s small, so it’s plausible). But Alex, pick on someone your own size. Derek’s 5’9″ is hardly in the same category as your 6’1″. Why don’t you try shoving Pat Kaleta under a bench? That might work out better for you. And when I say for you, I mean for me. So work on that next time we play, okay? Great.
As you’re all aware, the Sabres have posted the 10 Stupid Questions on the website (well, 8 of them, at least). And as I’ve already touched on the Mary Ann and Ginger situation (I heart Pat!!).
Okay, so I’m full of mixed emotions today. SO EXCITED BECAUSE WE COULD FINISH THE PRESEASON ABOVE .500!!! But totally bummed because Channel 4 has been replaced with CBS College Sports and The CW is MIA. On that subject, tonight I’m going to be missing the season premier of a show that I sometimes watch (because for some odd reason math intrigues me), Numb3rs, and that also means Sunday afternoon I’ll be missing the first 45 minutes of the Bills game, and I’ll be sad, because I love the Bills. And on Monday, I’ll be without my teenage angst-driven dramas, Gossip Girl and One Tree Hill; Tuesday evening I’ll be missing my dear Anthony DiNozzo on NCIS. Guys, I’m really upset about this. Like… well, not nearly as upset as I am when the Sabres lose, but close enough.
To start off Saturday’s festivities, I was extremely disappointed because, while Kim and I, along with her beautiful mother Maureen, arrived at the Red Carpet Ceremony admittedly a few minutes late, WE STILL MISSED ALL OF THE GUYS WHO WERE TO PLAY. That’s absolutely ridiculous, because that means I MISSED DEREK ROY. IN HIS WHITE SUIT!!!! I was completely devastated.