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Drew is a beast.  And he knows it.
To My Dearest Drew Stafford,

Thank you for rescuing my heart from the depths of despair.  I do not know what I would’ve done if you had not tied up the affair yesterday evening, with the flair of Jason’s goal in the 2006 playoffs.  And then you, again, lifted my spirits in the much-dreaded (by me, at least) shootout.  I cannot thank you enough.
Please pass along my sentiments to Clarke, for scoring the first goal for us (I’m so proud of him); Ryan, for being spectacularly and fabulously incredible in net (I’m in awe of his performance thus far); Thomas, for his jaw-dropping moves (I love the Around-the-World!!); and the rest of the dashing young men who make me smile with a win (and scream, and jump, and dance, and carry-on like I just won a million dollars).
But Drew, I do request that you do two things for me:
(1) Please send my regards to the penalty killing units.  They tried so hard to keep the puck from crossing the line, but alas, it had to at some point.  I was quite impressed that they went five complete games maintaining that standard, and even yet they have still served their purpose for 96.6% of the time when they needed to.  And I thank them profusely for that.
(2) Please inform Derek that if he does not increase his offensive production on this upcoming road trip, I will be very upset.
That being said, Drew, I hope you were not including me in your thoughts last night when you uttered this:
“This game is for all the mouse potatoes out there that don’t think we can stick with it in a 2-1 game and come back.”

Because, Drew, first of all, I am not a “mouse potato;” just because I can take an hour or so and peruse the internet to find something about you beautiful men to write about before I go to school, or whenever I find the time, does not imply that I spend my entire day writing about you.  Yes, it is true that I love and adore all of you, but there are other things that require my time in life.  Don’t be so selfish.
And second, I do not believe I ever said anything of the like.  In fact, I have been nothing but supportive of you all (Okay, except maybe in Tim’s case, but I love Tim, and he knows that, so all is forgiven in that respect.).  And Drew, I never breathed a word of your lack of production until last night, so I do not want to hear it from you.  We’re even now.  Because, just to set the record straight, I love a team that can bounce back from a deficit, and do it with flair.  And the Sabres have a knack for the flashy, flair-filled events, so it’s obvious that I would never count the Sabres out.  Never.
Oh, and Drew?  Can you please mention to Ryan and Derek that I believe you three were the best players for the Sabres yesterday?  I would have placed you as such, though:  (1) Ryan, (2) yourself, and (3) Derek.  But, while he put forth an outstanding effort last night, please don’t forget to tell Derek to get his ass in gear.  Please.
Oh, and Drew?  You get to be my honorary favorite Sabre until puck drop on Thursday, okay?  Just don’t tell Derek about that; he may get upset.  Although, his getting upset might help his name pop up on the score sheet a bit more.  I don’t know, though.  He did seem pretty upset after he failed to score during the shootout, you know, dropping the F-Bomb, and all.
Well, Drew, I’ll see you on Thursday, perhaps.  Keep up the excellent work.


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