By Cari and Kim
Why do you build us up, Buffalo Sabres, just to let us down, and mess us around? And then worst of all, you never score, baby, when you say you will, but we love you still. We need you more than anyone darlings, you know that we have from the start. So build us up, buttercups, and don’t break our hearts.
Anyways, back to real blogging; THAT GAME BLEW.
(1) We couldn’t listen to Rick and Harry because they were delayed about ten seconds and I have ADD, so I made Kim suffer through the FSN Detroit guys.
(2) Derek Roy totally scored and because THAY DON’T USE VIDEO REPLAY IN THE PRESEASON they couldn’t review it. What the hell kind of policy is that?
(3) The FNS Detroit guys are idiots: (a) they claimed that one of the Detroit players was “humping that a guy a little bit,” (b) they couldn’t pronounce Rivet correctly, and (c) they couldn’t pronounce Sekera either.
(4) Ty Conklin sucks. End of story.
(5) Our power play sucks. 10 man-advantages and no conversions. Pathetic.
(6) Andrew Peters didn’t fight. Oh, wait, that was good because he drew a penalty. But then again, our power play sucked, so that didn’t matter.
(7) Derek Roy got elbowed in the face and I almost died.
(8) Ryan Miller almost died when his mask came off, and the refs almost didn’t notice.
(9) We lost.
And to top it all off, the Bills got KILLED, and Trent Edwards should shack up with Tim Connolly.
Let’s take a look at what went right tonight:
(1) Maxim Afinogenov laid someone out–INTENTIONALLY–and didn’t hurt himself in the process.
(2) Lindy Ruff swore. That’s always good for entertainment.
(3) Derek Roy somehow managed to get the Third Star. Probably something to do with that goal he didn’t score.
(4) No one got seriously hurt.
(5) Oh, wait, that’s it.
So we’re really glad the Sabres ended up with a preseason record of 1-3-1. That’s pretty spectacular. And by that, I mean spectacularly atrocious.
Hopefully, this won’t be a sign of things to come, and that there will be good news in the next few days.
Oh, and by the way, we’re now watching Ryan Miller’s favorite movie, the classic Super Troopers.