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Okay, Sabres. You’ve had your fun. And by fun, I mean toying with the hearts of countless people throughout Western New York, Southern Ontario, and across the country.
AND WE DON’T APPRECIATE IT.
In fact, it’s downright despicable. I really don’t care for how you’ve been playing, at all. Goaltending? Needs to be better. Consistent, but yet, needs to be better. Defense? Don’t even get me started. Offense? Ditto.
First of all, DEREK ROY I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH ANYONE. Not the coach who led you to the Memorial Cup, no one. Know why? Because he coaches Gregory Campbell. YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. Wanna know why? Because he could have single-handedly beat you last night. That’s why.
I mean, something is obviously wrong in the locker room. I, for one, don’t think it’s Lindy Ruff’s fault. The guys don’t have it in them. I don’t know why, but they just don’t. Somehow, though, I honestly feel like management might call for Lindy’s head. But I don’t think Regier would allow Ruff to be axed; they’ve been together too long, and they were together when this team didn’t make the playoffs, what, three seasons in a row? Regier, as we are all too well aware, is not one to jump the gun, so I really believe that Ruff’s job is safe, and that’s fine by me, because he is an elite coach.
That being said, I’ll refer to my comment about the guys just not showing up. What’s my solution to that? Make some phone calls to Portland. Get Nathan Gerbe on a plane ASAP. If I were Lindy, I’d stick with the plan of benching guys. I’m still on the Bench Derek Roy Bandwagon. He most definitely needs to play better (and obviously my theory of embarrassing him didn’t work as well as I had hoped). But seriously. Rotate Gerbe in for the guys we are very much underachieving this year. Oh, wait… That’s pretty much everyone except for Vanek, and I’ll throw MacArthur in there (strictly because of his numbers) and Mancari (because he’s played pretty well). And like I said, don’t even get me started on the D. Seriously, bench them all. Play Paetsch and Weber in Lydman and Tallinder’s spots for a few games, and then in Sekera and Spacek’s, and then Numminen’s. I won’t throw Rivet in there because he’s been battling injuries all season, but still.
SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE.
We obviously have to find what’s wrong with this team, and we have to find it now. Because as it stands, playoff-wise, we’re already on the outside. And I’m not so sure I can take another Sabre-less late spring.
Like I said to Anne today, I seriously want to jump a plane to Tampa when I drop my brother off at the airport this morning. I really want to go down there, smack every single Buffalo Sabre across the face, and then proceed to bawl my eyes out and throw a hissy fit to make them see just how much their sucking affects me.
Oh, my God. If I talk about them any more I think I actually might start crying. Either that, or my couch pillows and other household objects may suddenly be able to fly…
So, I think, instead of talking about those men who shall not be named (Sounds like Harry Potter, eh? I think I might use Kim’s method: ******.), I think I’m just going to post ridiculous pictures of them, and talk about my boyfriends from the other teams.
So, in last night’s game, my Florida boyfriend, the beautiful David Booth did what? Nothing. Oh, that’s right, because he didn’t play, because he has some shoulder injury.
WHY IS IT THAT THE ONES I LIKE ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET HURT????
But Marcus Naslund scored for the Rangers, neither of my goalie BF’s played in the Islanders/Caps game, both Staal brothers let me down in their matchup, Shea Weber netted a goal, Todd Fedoruk did as well, and that’s it. Well I guess I pretty much got stood up across the board. But thank you, Marcus, Shea, and Todd, for trying to cheer me up. But, alas, it didn’t work.
At least Tampa lost… But, wait, I don’t think that will matter since they absolutely steamrolled us when they were up here last.
Umm, so a picture…
So I lied. I can’t look at my pictures of the ****** without getting all kinds of upset. Well, I’ll put up a picture of one of my guys who didn’t let me down last night:
The Pirates couldn’t possibly let me down last night because they didn’t play.
While the Sabres are out making millions by playing terribly and galavanting on the beach and Chippewa, the most adorable hockey players every (coughTHEPIRATEScough) are doing charity work. Yeah, that’s right, and making the days of countless children, grown men, and adoring women.
Three of the four Mikey-Poo’s in Portland (Card, Funk, and Kostka), along with Derek Whitmore unveiled the newly remodeled Dorothy Elizabeth room at Gary’s House, a Ronald McDonald-esque house, in Portland. They also decorated for Christmas.
And then Tim Kennedy (who looks like a child himself) and Jimmy Bonneau did a signing.
The Pirates are my new hockey loves.
Take that, Sabres. Oh, and Derek Roy? I’m breaking up with you.
Okay, I have to start off this entry by wishing my beautiful partner-in-crime and best friend Kim a wonderfully happy Birthday. She turns Paille years old today!!
Oh, and Paul?? Kim’s hoping and wishing that you score a hat trick today. I’m thinking it’s not going to happen. We’ll see.
And I’ll be the same in Stafford days…
Back to the real reason I’m so excited about posting today…
We all know that Derek Roy is the most high-maintenance of the Sabres, and we all know that he lives a lavish lifestyle that Kanye West dreams of. But Derek’s a pretty simple guy. Wanna know why? Because he gets drunk, and does really ridiculous stuff, just like anyone else who’s had a few too many.
But what I really love about this guy? The fact that he falls down on the sidewalk on Chippewa, with only one shoe one.
So I have this theory about how D might have hurt his groin. Now, among the wonderful pictures that dear reader Katie so wonderfully gifted to me, there’s one that puts Princess D in quite a compromising position… I’m not going to elaborate… I’ll leave that for my dear friend MJ, as I couldn’t do it any justice…
BUT. I honestly believe that Princess D was probably out drinking at Liars or somewhere, and decided he wanted a change of scenery, so he stumbled out onto Chippewa. But because he’d had a few too many already, didn’t consider picking his feet up to step over the cracks in the sidewalk, and took a tumble. I’m sure he twisted his groin while rolling around on the sidewalk like a turtle flipped over on its back.
And we all know how my theories seem to be working out this year. Remember what I said about the Sabres and Bills winning and losing together???
And, as if this day couldn’t start off any worse, I’M HEARING FROM SABRES EDGE THAT PATTY K MIGHT BE HURT???!!??!!! OMG NO. I adore him. So no. Please. Just, no.
I don’t think my heart could take a blow like that one after those pictures… I’m just too elated about Derek Roy to take a hit with Patty… It would just kill me….
And I’m with Lindy. We need some “puck luck,” and we need it bad.
So I woke up at 8:00 am for nothing because right now it’s 8:35, and still no Derek Roy report. They just told me that he’d be on after they played Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours,” which is fine by me because I love him too, but after that, they’re now playing “Sexy Can I?” I’m a little miffed.
It’s all Kim’s fault, so don’t blame me, but we missed the first part of practice because she had school. I totally could’ve gone by myself for the first hour and a half, but I don’t like to do much by myself (I guess I’m the typical flocking girl). So, sorry Jill, but I missed Ryan and Paul. I know, it’s tragic. I guess I need to work on my confidence and go somewhere by myself. But there are other reasons why I didn’t go that have to do with a certain someone, but I won’t get into that…
When I opened my mailbox Tuesday evening, I was excited to find my new issue of The Hockey News, for some unknown reason… Oh, wait, TRAINING CAMP STARTS FRIDAAAAYYYY!! Anyways, the individual team reports were focused on the summer vacations of players, coaches, whomever. Let us read: