THAT SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED

So last night, Kim and I attended the game with the lovely S(h)ara from Sabretooth’s House.

And it was bad. No, it was really, really fun, but it was bad. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard. We must do it again.

You all know how the game went, and let me tell you how excited I was! Except, I never stood up when we scored, even when we won, because we were in the first row of the 300-level, and I don’t do well with heights. Anywhere else in the 300’s and I’m fine, but in the first row? Eehhhhh, not really my thing to have about two feet of concrete and ten inches of glass separating me and the space between myself and the people in the 100-level.

BUT! I seriously think I had a good omen yesterday morning. Whilst driving to school down Elmwood, I was flipping through the radio (which I don’t normally do; I usually listen to a CD), still upset that the Sabres have been sucking so badly. But then Star was playing a good song, so I left it on. Then the DJ was talking about the weather and traffic, and I almost turned it off, but then he said something about the 33 and I paid attention.

Good thing, because the next song was “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

How’s that for fate?

(What’s also fate, is that at the arena, they played “Glamorous,” which didn’t help my cause for not cheating on Derek Roy at all. Damn you, Kris Versteeg! Why must you be so Fergalicious? Also, this video of Toews, Burish, and Wiz is pretty great as well. They’re so funny. I love those Blackhawks. NO. I need to stop. Clare, look what you’ve done to me!)

So the game was really, really successful at making me happy. The guys played great, but the company makes it even better. Especially the commentary:

– Me, on Thomas Vanek (?) missing a wide-open net in the first: “If Tim Connolly were there, that would’ve been a goal!” S(h)ara’s response: “Tim Connolly is good at putting things in holes.” (That was bad. I’m sorry.)

– Throughout the night, we kept shouting “troglodyte,” “Greg Campbell, you suck,” “hit him with your purse,” and “Princess D.”

– The guys behind us were getting very upset with people screaming “shoot” on the power play. Well sorry, sir, but if the Sabres would shoot a little more on the power play, we wouldn’t have to tell them how to do their jobs.

– Kim said that we needed to “euthanize the Panthers.” I said she was being too kind.

(Now I got a bit lost because I kept watching Kris Versteeg videos. Those Blackhawks are killing me.)

– Every time we saw Anne, S(h)ara and I screamed “foxy lady!” She never heard us.

– When Tallinder took a penalty (and this is really bad guys; I apologize), I said quietly to the girls, “Tallinder’s not a hooker; he’s a rapist.” It was hysterical at the time, and I even tweeted it, but I feel kinda bad about it now because the charges were dropped.

– Kim said Derek Roy needed to go after the puck like it was a Hostess cupcake. She tweeted it too. Which prompted Jill to respond about Ho Ho’s, and Jay to suggest ding dongs. That’s just wrong, on all accounts. I need to make him a batch of tofu brownies now.

S(h)ara said a whole bunch of funnier things too, but I don’t remember them.

Anyways, after the game we met up with Anne at Cobblestone, hoping some of the Sabres would show up, but by 11 o’clock we were all getting pretty tired, and booked. None of them came. We even sat by the back entrance, hoping that they might, but no. Oh well. Anyways, that was pretty much Brian Campbell’s place to go, and he’s with the Blackhawks now, obviously. (I just can’t get away from them, can I?)

Also, Mary tweeted about Lalime singing “Poker Face,” (two things: I seem to be obsessed with Twitter, and Patty didn’t sing it [to my knowledge, at least]), and now every time I hear that song and/or Lady Gaga, I totally think of him. Especially when they played “Just Dance” during the game.

The only thing that would’ve made that night better is if MJ could’ve made it up in time, but her job didn’t allow for us to have that much fun. Another time, I suppose.

And my signal that I should stop writing now is the fact that I have no idea if this post is even coherent.

I’ll be back later, possibly, as I have absolutely NO PLANS today, which is so, so strange and new to me.

I’M CALLING YOU OUT

Okay, Sabres. You’ve had your fun. And by fun, I mean toying with the hearts of countless people throughout Western New York, Southern Ontario, and across the country.

AND WE DON’T APPRECIATE IT.

In fact, it’s downright despicable. I really don’t care for how you’ve been playing, at all. Goaltending? Needs to be better. Consistent, but yet, needs to be better. Defense? Don’t even get me started. Offense? Ditto.

First of all, DEREK ROY I TOLD YOU THAT YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH ANYONE. Not the coach who led you to the Memorial Cup, no one. Know why? Because he coaches Gregory Campbell. YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH HIM. Wanna know why? Because he could have single-handedly beat you last night. That’s why.

Anyways…

I mean, something is obviously wrong in the locker room. I, for one, don’t think it’s Lindy Ruff’s fault. The guys don’t have it in them. I don’t know why, but they just don’t. Somehow, though, I honestly feel like management might call for Lindy’s head. But I don’t think Regier would allow Ruff to be axed; they’ve been together too long, and they were together when this team didn’t make the playoffs, what, three seasons in a row? Regier, as we are all too well aware, is not one to jump the gun, so I really believe that Ruff’s job is safe, and that’s fine by me, because he is an elite coach.

That being said, I’ll refer to my comment about the guys just not showing up. What’s my solution to that? Make some phone calls to Portland. Get Nathan Gerbe on a plane ASAP. If I were Lindy, I’d stick with the plan of benching guys. I’m still on the Bench Derek Roy Bandwagon. He most definitely needs to play better (and obviously my theory of embarrassing him didn’t work as well as I had hoped). But seriously. Rotate Gerbe in for the guys we are very much underachieving this year. Oh, wait… That’s pretty much everyone except for Vanek, and I’ll throw MacArthur in there (strictly because of his numbers) and Mancari (because he’s played pretty well). And like I said, don’t even get me started on the D. Seriously, bench them all. Play Paetsch and Weber in Lydman and Tallinder’s spots for a few games, and then in Sekera and Spacek’s, and then Numminen’s. I won’t throw Rivet in there because he’s been battling injuries all season, but still.

SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE.

We obviously have to find what’s wrong with this team, and we have to find it now. Because as it stands, playoff-wise, we’re already on the outside. And I’m not so sure I can take another Sabre-less late spring.

Like I said to Anne today, I seriously want to jump a plane to Tampa when I drop my brother off at the airport this morning. I really want to go down there, smack every single Buffalo Sabre across the face, and then proceed to bawl my eyes out and throw a hissy fit to make them see just how much their sucking affects me.

Oh, my God. If I talk about them any more I think I actually might start crying. Either that, or my couch pillows and other household objects may suddenly be able to fly…

So, I think, instead of talking about those men who shall not be named (Sounds like Harry Potter, eh? I think I might use Kim’s method: ******.), I think I’m just going to post ridiculous pictures of them, and talk about my boyfriends from the other teams.

Here goes.

So, in last night’s game, my Florida boyfriend, the beautiful David Booth did what? Nothing. Oh, that’s right, because he didn’t play, because he has some shoulder injury.

WHY IS IT THAT THE ONES I LIKE ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET HURT????

But Marcus Naslund scored for the Rangers, neither of my goalie BF’s played in the Islanders/Caps game, both Staal brothers let me down in their matchup, Shea Weber netted a goal, Todd Fedoruk did as well, and that’s it. Well I guess I pretty much got stood up across the board. But thank you, Marcus, Shea, and Todd, for trying to cheer me up. But, alas, it didn’t work.

At least Tampa lost… But, wait, I don’t think that will matter since they absolutely steamrolled us when they were up here last.

Umm, so a picture…

So I lied. I can’t look at my pictures of the ****** without getting all kinds of upset. Well, I’ll put up a picture of one of my guys who didn’t let me down last night:

The Pirates couldn’t possibly let me down last night because they didn’t play.

In fact, they only made me love them more.

While the Sabres are out making millions by playing terribly and galavanting on the beach and Chippewa, the most adorable hockey players every (coughTHEPIRATEScough) are doing charity work. Yeah, that’s right, and making the days of countless children, grown men, and adoring women.

Three of the four Mikey-Poo’s in Portland (Card, Funk, and Kostka), along with Derek Whitmore unveiled the newly remodeled Dorothy Elizabeth room at Gary’s House, a Ronald McDonald-esque house, in Portland. They also decorated for Christmas.

And then Tim Kennedy (who looks like a child himself) and Jimmy Bonneau did a signing.

The Pirates are my new hockey loves.

Take that, Sabres. Oh, and Derek Roy? I’m breaking up with you.

IS IT JUST ME??

Or is there a rash of strange injuries going around the league this year?

First, it’s Erik Johnson‘s inability to remove his foot from a gas pedal correctly, and tore his ACL AND MCL.  Nice, Erik.  Nice.

Then, it’s Timmykins and his effed up back.  We all know it’s from laying on bar floors, and not from getting hit in Roberval.

Next, we’ve got the Sabres’ rash of finger injuries, with Paul tearing his thumb up, and Jochen shattering the tip of his middle finger.  Do you realize that if they had to have their fingers splinted, Jochen would be flipping Paul off permanently, and all Paul would be able to do would be to give Jochen a thumbs up?  hahahahah.

Then, I found out last night that Daniel Briere (ew) is out for about a month with a torn abdominal muscle.  Does anyone remember what happened to Danny while he was here?  That’s right, folks, he had an inguinal hernia.  That’s a torn abdominal muscle, where the intestines begin to protrude through the abdominal wall, if you didn’t know.  So I’m thinking the surgical procedure to patch the wall has given in…

(I’m not sure if I like Danny, or if I hate him.  I think I’m indifferent.  I liked him while he was here, and yeah, he’s great, but I hated the situation in which he left, and I’m kinda bitter with him about it, so idk.  But really, I dislike him like I dislike Hasek.  And I used to think I was going to marry Hasek.  Hey, I was five.  I didn’t know any better.)

And I also see that Blues goalie Manny Legace is on the shelf, no thanks to Sarah Palin.  This is what TSN reports:

The Alaska governor dropped the ceremonial first puck before the Blues hosted the Los Angeles Kings.  A narrow carpet walkway was placed from the gate at the Blues bench to centre ice for Palin, her husband and two of her daughters.

Just before the ceremony, Legace was the first player onto the ice for St. Louis.  A team official pointed to the carpet.  But Legace said the official moved his own foot from the carpet just as Legace stepped down, causing the carpet to slide.

Legace fell, then gingerly made his way to the crease.

Sarah Palin is hurting our players.  Nice hockey mom.

But these injuries are just weird.  Right?  I mean, take a gander at exactly how many injuries there are in the league.  That’s a lot.  And hahaha Gregory Campbell is hurt.  OOOH and another bizaar one?  Ryan Getzlaf has an impacted tooth.

And what’s up with all this “Undisclosed Injury” crap??  I thought all injuries had to be disclosed?

Well, anyways, I won’t be posting about the game tonight until midnight, or so, when I get home from work, so I probably won’t be posting.  But definitely tomorrow.

Go Sabres!!