So this is my first post on WordPress so it’s all new and exciting for me. I have to say that I enjoy WordPress a lot more than Blogger, the layouts are nicer and it’s a lot easier to customize but anyway I coudln’t think of what to write today so I figured that I’d start a list of letters today for each individual player.

Toni,

I love you but some times you make bone headed mistakes when playing which may or may not cause us to lose the game. So please, please I’m begging you keep your head up and you passing smart so that we can win and stay in the playoffs.

Jaroslav,

I’m afraid that if I lived next to you, and had a small dog, I’d wake up one morning to find you sitting on the floor of my dining room licking your fingers with a pile of small bones in front of you. Please if we ever live near each other make sure that you have plenty to eat so that you don’t feel the need to snack on my dog. Other than that you’re doing a great job, except for a mistake every now and then, but keep up the good work and maybe one day the guys will let you loose in the SPCA. Just kidding, oh great now I’m probably going to have PETA on my ass.

Derek,

I’m pretty sure Cari’s about to break up with you so please don’t start eating to ease the pain of loneliness. Plus I was also pretty sure that today in the restaurant, when Clare held up that box of cookies, that you were going to Superman across the dining room grab the container and start gnawing through it to the delicious calories inside.

Hank,

You need to leave, you even admitted that you need a change of scenery and I’m pretty sure I wholeheartedly agree with you. That is all.

Dominic,

To tell you the truth I thought that I would get attached to you like I have all the other rental players throughout the years. But alas I’ve been able to keep my distance therefore causing no hurt feelings when you walk away at the end of the year.

Timmy,

You leered at us through lunch probably deciding which one of us you wanted. Well let it be known that until Anne walked in two out of the four were jailbait, sorry Emily and Clare you are, and I personally wouldn’t touch you if you were the last man on Earth. Cari and Anne I’m sure have more self respect than that.

Pie,

I’m pretty sure you only have one facial expression the puzzled look that seems to be the essence  of you. I’m sure when you score you go home and line up all your stuffed animals and tell them of your heroics with a big goofy grin on your face.

Drew,

You’re a rockstar who needs to score more.

Adam,

You’re hurt and I’m not sure if you’re going to play tonight but if you do I want you to tear it up and beat the crap out of some Flyers.

Tommy,

You’re a beast but please, please score tonight, when you score we usually win and we really need to win.

Teppo,

I have nothing to say about you other than I really hope that you retire at the end of this year because while you’re a good player you just can’t keep up anymore. Sorry if that’s mean.

Paul,

I love you my heart and at the risk of sounding stalkerish and creepy please love me tonight and score because I want you I need you oh baby oh baby (10 Things I Hate About You) that was not my sick twisted mind talking I swear.

Jason,

You remind me of JT and you’re so gosh darn cute even though you haven’t scored I’m going to forgive you and send all my good happy thoughts to you so that you may have that spark tonight we haven’t seen in awhile.

Ryan,

Get well soon!!! We need you.

Telly,

You played really well against Ottawa, I’m sorry if the team hung you out to dry, it was nothing personal they just seem to have a tendency to do that.

Chris,

I don’t know you that well but you’re my favorite doof, I hope you’ll be content with that.

Patty,

You stared so intently at your pasta this afternoon I’m pretty sure you were thinking up ways to trash talk it, it was cute really. However I thought about maybe getting up and offering you some ice so that your brain didn’t overheat. Please trash talk and carry on with your usual aggitating.

Matty,

I’m happy you’re playing tonight. YAY.

Patches,

Cari thought that Derek Roy was you but please don’t let that be a blow to your self esteem we still love you and want you to play soon, maybe you could unscrew the blades from Sekera’s skates or maybe even throw up in them?

Patty,

When I need to feel happy I imagine you at center ice singing Poker Face at the top of your lungs while your teammates stare at you in horror from the bench, it would be really great that if one day it actually came true.

Clarke,

I’m sorry you got yelled at today or as Cari said had a one on one session with McCutcheon (sp?), that’s probably never a good thing, but if it means that you score than it’ll all be okay.

Reggie,

You’re really bald, you looked much better with hair, get rid of the black mouth guard and please don’t take any offense to my saying I hope that Patches pukes in your skates. KThanxbi

Craigory,

I really want the gritty player you were when you first arrived here back.

Jochen,

My German!!! well what can I say other than I want you to score really back so that I can scream MINE LIEBLINGS DEUTSCHERMAN at the top of my lungs tonight therefore scaring everyone sitting hear me.

Max,

I hope you realize that if (when?) you leave me in June I will be a wreck but please if you do leave don’t go to a team I hate, because I don’t think that I could handle that.

Peters,

How dare you be mean to little kids? And here I thought that you were one of those genuinely nice players that could do no wrong. Well at least you redeemed yourself by giving the kids those pucks but still. Bad Petey, BAD.

Okay I’m done now, I’ve got to go get ready for the game, where the Sabres will win, there is no MAYBE or POSSIBLY in my vocabulary anymore. WE WILL WIN! Okay yay for optimism, I thought I’d lost you.

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