So I’m absolutely sure that, by now, you’ve all heard about the trials and tribulations of the Sabres in net, which are absolutely atrocious at the moment.

Here’s our depth chart for netminders:

Ryan Miller (ankle sprain)
Patrick Lalime (flu)
Adam Dennis (hip, surgery)
Jhonas Enroth
John DeCaro (broken collarbone)

Oh, and there are two others (Bradley Eidsness, who is playing for the University of North Dakota, and Nick Eno, who plays for Bowling Green), but since neither of the two have pro contracts, I don’t know what it would take to get the co-eds up here (Eno just turned 20, by the way, and Eidsness is only 19).

But that provides us with quite the quandary of who might end up in net this evening, if Lalime cannot play, and if (God, please, no) should Enroth go down.

There are three situations that would happen to the Sabres tonight if I were Lindy Ruff:

(1) Lalime is miraculously better, and suits up, 100%, and Enroth backs him up. (Best possible scenario.)

(2) Since Lalime is good enough to play, but not 100%, start Enroth, but have Lalime assume his usual position on the bench as team cheerleader.

(3) If Lalime is a no-go, put Enroth in net.

Who would play second-string in Number 3, you ask?? No one.

That’s right; I said no one.

Think about this for a minute: Each team is allowed to dress 20 players, goalies included, right? Well, what if we only dressed one goalie? Then we could dress 19 skaters.

I specifically remember asking questions about this scenario to my parents many, many times when I was younger. In fact, I can hear myself up in Section 325, looking down at Dominik Hasek in net, Martin Biron on the bench, turning to my father and asking, “What happens if Dom and Marty get hurt in the same game?”

His answer? “One of the other guys would have to play goalie.”

So that’s why I say that. Hey, for all we know, Enroth could steal the show. I honestly think that could be the most interesting thing to happen in a hockey game in a while. I mean, who plays with only one goalie?

Because I don’t necessarily trust any of our defensemen to play goal all that well, so why waste them as a benchwarmer?

Seriously, would you want Lydman, Tallinder, Paetsch, or anyone, for that matter, between the pipes with the way they’ve been playing lately? I sure as Hell wouldn’t.

But if it came down to it, I say put the biggest body in the net, if necessary. None of these guys really have experience playing goal, let alone against Eric Staal and the Hurricanes. (Is Mike Ryan still with them? I’m too lazy to look right now…) So put the guy with the most meat in there and more net is covered.

My, my, my, this could become quite comical. I think I’m kind of glad I won’t be home to see anything until the third period…

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