Somebody please make sure that there is defibrillator on hand if Paul plays tonight because I’m pretty sure that my heart’s going to stop beating as soon as I see him in the good old blue and yellow. Word came down that Paul would be evaluated today, after skating on an actual line in practice yesterday, to determine if he would play tonight so everyone please cross your fingers because I could do with a little good news.
Why may you ask am I literally dying for some good news? One we play Washington tonight which means Ovie which is never a good thing (sorry Frostee). Two I’m getting sick which stinks by itself but add to the fact that tomorrow is New Year’s Eve and I’m going to start off the New Year sick doesn’t make me very happy. Three I just got my book list for next semester and because I have to buy a stethoscope and blood pressure cuff and a whole ton of books for my nursing and regular classes the grand total comes out to be around 700 dollars not really something I’m looking forward to. But enough about my stinky life back to hockey:
To Jay McKee’s finger: Hi finger Jay needs you and probably wishes that you would stay attached to his body so please do because we love Jay and want him to continue to be able to play hockey.
To Paul Gaustad’s upper-body injury/face injury: Hi injury you know by now that I love Paul and your being around has caused me to not see him play for the last 5 games and therefore undeniable pain. So while I can appreciate that Paul got you while in practice and therefore doing his joby I and mostly everyone else that I know would really like it if you would go away so that Paul could play tonight. Oh and if you have messed up Paul’s face in anyway know that I will hunt you down and gut you like a fish. (although it may seem impossible there are ways and just let me have my delusions its usually better this way because if not there are all kinds of medications and maybe some institutionalization in my future)
To Patrick Kaleta’s eyes: Hi eyes I know that you took a hit from stupid Denis Gauthier and I know your causing Patrick some problems and while I know none of it is your fault because we all blame that overgrown nancy boy Gauthier it would be really nice if you would allow Patty to see again so that he could play.
To Nathan Gerbe’s shoulder? upper body? whatever?: Gerbe Derby I miss you terribly and I want you BAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK. *goes to cry in the corner and curse out injuries*
To Craig Rivet’s shoulder: Hi shoulder you suck that’s all I have to say. You took away our captain and if how we’ve been playing lately is any indication we would really like him back so that he can use his amazing captain’s powers (which I’m sure he has) to make our guys play well again. These powers include the ability to write inspirational speeches powererful enough to make the manliest man cry, Jaro I’m sure would be blubbering like a baby all the while saying “Jaro sad” over and over and then because no other player wants to see another player cry or they’re just embarrassed for him they go out and play the best game of their lives….SEE, see what you have taken from us injury, damn you.
To Tim Connolly’s broken rib: Well it seems that you have been but one injury in a long line of injuries and when I heard about you all I could do was sit back and laugh because let’s face it you weren’t unexpected. Actually I had a countdown on my wall as to how long after Timmy came back it would take for an injury to appear well congratulations you’re the winner. I think that because of this latest injury Timmy needs to start being wrapped in bubble wrap before he goes out to play hockey and while this may not seem like the best solution who doesn’t love bubble wrap? Seriously I’m sure Man Child I and II (Danny and Clarke) would get the biggest kick out of poking Timmy just to hear the bubbles pop at least it would give them something to do while sitting on the bench. Anyways injury I don’t blame you at all Timmy is just very fragile and I believe that we should steal a bunch of those FRAGILE stickers that people but on boxes when they’re moving and stick them all over his jersey so that people will have warning that before they hit him they are most likely to cause serious injury.
New Year’s Resolution:
To stop swearing so much everyday, but during Sabres game make an exception.
I swear like a trucker most of the time and I really want to stop relying so much on curse words and start expressing myself using my big girl words. I can’t hold to that during the Sabres’ games though because it’s almost impossible not to swear at them repeatedly throughout a game.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and that you spend it with the people you love.
SEE YOU IN 2009!!!!!