Dear Sean Avery,
I hate you, actually I despise you, you embody evil and I believe that you got exactly what you deserve. I’m quite sure that if one were to strip you out of the that, probably, ridiculously expensive suit (I now need to go brillo pad that off my memory cells) they would find a forked tail. I also believe that you are using those girlie sunglasses to hide the fact that when you go out in daylight your eyes glow red. I hope that you never play in the NHL again even though, when you’re not acting like a douchebag, you’re a resonably good player. I know this may sound harsh but what can I say it’s a cruel world and I am the harbinger of bad news. I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that even your own teammates hate you and with good reason, your attitude sucks. I also hope that you never get hired at one of the magazines that I read because if you did I would have to stop reading it and I would feel compelled to burn every copy that came into my possession.