First of all, those games blew. EPIC FAILURE ON BOTH NIGHTS. I don’t have anything to say, except to paraphrase Lindy, about either game:

They played part of the game. PART. Unless you show up for an entire 60 minutes, you cannot, I REPEAT, CANNOT expect to win games. The guys played great decent enough through the first 40 tonight, and if they would’ve just played simple hockey, and stayed tight defensively and kept the pressure on, they would’ve come out with a win. BUT NO!!! They just had to go and take penalties and be all cutesy.

EPIC. FAIL. GROSS.

So, anyways, allow me to get to the point.

YOU WILL PROBABLY NEVER AGAIN HEAR/SEE ME SAY/WRITE THIS, BUT DEREK ROY NEEDS TO BE BENCHED.

Please, Lindy, I’m begging you. Bench him. And bench him now. Last year, Derek was feisty, productive, and on his way to becoming a bit of a pest to the opposing teams. This year? Well, let’s just say Dreck hasn’t impressed me much. At all.

So Dreck? Either step it up IMMEDIATELY, or I’m going to wish that the third jersey I’m awaiting so anxiously didn’t have your name on it. And as mad as I am at you–which is a lot–you’d best not be benched on Friday, because then I’ll have wasted a day’s pay to see you play. SO DON’T MESS THIS ONE UP.

I’m so incredibly mad at you.

AND DON’T YOU DARE SAY YOU’RE SORRY. DON’T BE SORRY. You should be ashamed of yourself. Yeah, that’s it. Go pout. Go cry on Kyle’s shoulder. I don’t want to hear it.

I actually don’t want to hear it from any of the Sabres.

Yeah, that’s right Drew. I’m a mouse potato telling you how to play the game. DEAL WITH IT.

I hope Lindy makes you do an hour’s worth of suicides tomorrow.

Okay, I’m really not that mad at them; I just tend to have a flair for the dramatic. I am very upset and disappointed, though. They really need to step it up…

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