First of all, I have to say that, thus far this morning, I’m highly disappointed in Kiss 98.5.  WHERE THE HELL IS THIS WEEK’S INSTALLMENT OF THE DEREK ROY REPORT?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?  Hmph.  I’m going to pout for the rest of the day.
I was really looking forward to telling Derek that because of all of our common ground, I’m not stalking him, he’s in fact stalking me.  Because stalking, by definition, means that a person willfully, maliciously, and repeatedly follows or harasses another.  Willful?  Yes, most definitely.  Maliciously?  Hell to the no.  I am by no means spiteful to Derek, and I would never, ever, ever want to hurt him.  Do I follow him?  No.  Well…  No, we’ll just leave it at no.  Do I harass him?  I’ve never spoken to him, so, again, no.  But does he tell me that we have all sorts of stuff in common?  Yes; that makes him willing.  Is he malicious?  Yes, because he knows it’s going to hurt me.  Does he repeatedly follow me?  No, but he presents situations for me to follow him regularly.  Does he harass me?  No, I have to let him off there, too.  But trust me when I say he is (borderline) stalking me.  Yeah, I said it.
Second, I’m not going to talk about Craig Rivet’s knee injury, because it makes me want to cry.  But, I did find some silver lining, at least for those of us who adore Nathan Paetsch, because he gets to play!!!!!!
But then I started to think, I don’t remember much about him, because I haven’t seen him in so long!  So, here we go…
Mr. Nathan Paetsch, hailing from Leroy, Saskatchewan, is 25 years old (3.25.83), and wears the same hoodie all the time.

Maybe the rest of the team took pity,
and they’re letting Nathan have the hoodie from the BotTH.
Or maybe it’s because it looks better on him than Petey…
But you have to like the deer-in-the-headlights facial expression.
And some more useless information about Nate:  He has a sister named Vanessa, his father, Rick, is an electrician in a Potash mine, and his mother, Brenda, is a financial advisor.  (I think I should call Brenda.  Maybe she can help me sort out my debt and actually have some money in my bank account once in a while.)
Also, according to that terribly addicting forum, which I always swear is trashy, but it’s still fun to read, Nathan is engaged to a chiropractor, but he’s also not engaged to her, but instead he’s dating a doctor from Rochester.  I don’t know what to believe…  I’m so lost.
(You know what?  It’s really hard to find good information about dear Nathan.  I can’t find any more.)
Moving on.
DEREK!!  I NEED YOU TO SCORE THIS EVENING!!  But please score after 9 pm, because I won’t be home until then, and I’d prefer to see you score.  So TOMMY!!  I need you to keep us up over the Wild in the 1st, okay?  And Nathan?  Good luck, toots!  Um, and Ryan, please be the status quo brick wall.  Patty K, please hold off from doing anything crazy until I get home, too.  Power play and penalty kill, stay strong!  Okay????  Thanks.  I appreciate it.  Oh, and hockey gods?  I never said this.  Ever.  As far as you’re concerned, I want…  No, I’m not even going to say it because it would probably back-fire on me.
Go Sabes!!